Initially, I wanted to drop the whole thing and run away.
When there’s no clear path forward, and I feel the weight of the situation, everything within me wants to move in the opposite direction. My mind can go to extremes as I imagine a way out. In moments like these, the very thing I am being asked to do is stay, be there and show up with my presence and attention. To engage in meetings and contribute to conversations. To keep bringing my attention back to the situation at hand. If I can stay the course with an openness and an intention to find a path forward that brings more ease to all involved, a path ahead will open up.
Recently, I found myself in a challenging situation on a project. Finding my way through this challenge took multiple conversations on WhatsApp and Zoom and hanging in there with colleagues who were also on this project. We kept showing up to try and make sense of what was happening. Sometimes, it felt like we were talking in circles, engaging in conversations where our initial question would lead us on a journey, ultimately bringing us back to the same question. In hindsight, I can see how these circular conversations allowed us to reflect on the situation from many angles.
Sometimes, it felt like we were going round and round; there was no promise we’d get out of what felt like mud to me. It felt like mud because it was messy and slowed our movement. It seemed like our client held expectations about the work, which they had not communicated to us.
Working in a space with invisible expectations gave me the feeling that we couldn’t seem to get things right no matter how we tried. So we had to start from that space of not knowing what was right. We responded to what we were sensing and began piecing the bits of communication we had including what was said explicitly and implied, together. Then, we imagined how different scenarios might unfold. We talked through various courses of action and began drafting possible communications.
We kept doing this with care and faith until a pathway opened. It took time, and I had to be patient. When a plausible pathway finally opened, we knew it was the direction to take because it felt right. None of us had hesitations or resistance to proceed in this direction. Finding the right path did not mean it would be without challenges, but it did invite us into the next stage of collaboration, deepen our learning and move the project closer to a sense of harmony.
On the other side of this experience, I felt so much relief. I also felt stronger because I had stayed. Sometimes, it’s important to leave a difficult situation; in other cases, staying is so important. Discerning when to stay and when to go, whether that is physically or emotionally, is an ongoing practice I wish to foster this year. On the topic of leaving, I will be moving out of Portland in the next few months. I have lived in the city for nearly 12 years, the longest stretch of time I have lived anywhere. In the coming months, I look forward to sharing more about the new things that are arising.
What I’m Reading
Staying with the Trouble: Making Kin in the Chthulucene, by Donna Haraway
A participant from my research recommended this book, I have only skimmed it yet look forward to reading more in the coming weeks. In this book Haraway offers an evocative way to re-establish our relations to the earth and all of life. Naming our current era the Chthulucene, she highlights the ways in which the human and nonhuman are inextricably linked and inform each other's evolution. Haraway argues that this epoch is one of sym-poiesis, or making-with, rather than auto-poiesis, or self-making. She emphasises the importance of ‘learning to stay with the trouble’ including living and dying together on a damaged earth, arguing that holding this view is more conducive to creating more vibrant and liveable futures.
Friday, February 9th, 3:30-5:30pm PST // Saturday, February 10th, 10:30-12:30pm AEDT
What does it mean to follow someone’s process
How do I identify the structure within a flow of information?
This 2-hour session will focus on practising a process-oriented approach to working with others. During the session there will be opportunities for direct and indirect learning. You may bring a question to the session and watch the work, and engage in practice with this question in mind, or notice something that catches your attention within the session and explore the possibility that what you’re noticing has something to teach you as well. There will be an inner work, time to connect in small groups, a demo of me working with someone in the centre, and time to practise in pairs. Learn more and register here.
Thursday March 21st, 3:00-5:00 pm PDT //Friday March 22nd, 9:00-11:00 am AEDT
When we’re feeling unsettled, a desire to engage more fully in our lives and our work with others, we may be experiencing an invitation to connect with the mythic dimension of our experience. This is the level that is both deeply personal and universal and contains patterns and archetypal themes. Maybe you’re feeling stuck with a client, want to take the work deeper or support yourself and others to connect with a sense of purpose and resilience to navigate current challenges and the tensions of recent times. Connecting with the mythic layer offers insight into wherever we are and resources we can draw upon as we engage in our lives.
Are you interested in learning to track long term themes and patterns in yourself and those you work with?
Join Rose Harvey and I, for a 2-hour session to explore cases and questions through the lens of myth. This offering is open to all who are interested in learning to bring a mythic perspective to their life and work. Together, we will explore how we can bring a mythic dimension to our work by considering how mythic patterns manifest in different ways and at various scales. Learn more and register here